Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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