i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
