I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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