I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
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