so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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