Just fell off a train. Bad.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Every concussion has its silver lining
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
