DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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