scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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