I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
