no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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