I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
