# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
