the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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