Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
