So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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