I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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