He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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