So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
