SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
