we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We're too hungover to prance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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