Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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