I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Pappa wants mamma naked
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
