I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
