Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
