I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
