His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its not stalking. its research.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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