all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
