sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am one with the molecules
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
