Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
