I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
