Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize