i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
