id be glad to
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just had sex on a roof
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
