Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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