i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
