Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
