so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
