remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
