Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
