hotel room ftw
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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