Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
