marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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