It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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