it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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