yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
