Betty ford says i'm here all night
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
