your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
