She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
