I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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