thus making me awesome and them whores
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
